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By Kathryn Ombam

I was very fortunate to have a conversation with author Eric McKinley about his debut novel, Blessed Sons this week. Blessed Sons follows an ensemble of characters through the complicated scenario leading up to and following the shooting death of a star high school athlete. The characters seem simple enough: the boy and his family, the shopkeeper, and the lawyer who is assigned to the case. But the emotional relationships that McKinley creates for each character are fascinating and nuanced – and the characters are forced to examine some of the most difficult things that life holds – race, class, violence, death, and the consequences that go along with each. When I sat down with McKinley, I tried to ask him some meaningful questions. Often I was reduced to just gushing about my favorite parts of the book, but here are the highlights of the interview:

Mrs.O: In this book, the protagonist is a lawyer named Jon, you happen to be a lawyer, how often do people ask you about the lawyer component of this book?

McKinley: Sure, even people that don’t know I am a lawyer ask me about the detail of the trial
and want to know if I have personal experience with the plot line. But I don’t want people to get
bogged down in making comparisons. I don’t want people to think this is the only thing I write
about – or that I will write about in the future.

Mrs. O: You do convey a great bit of detail – like how the lawyers talk to the judge and how the
whole legal process goes, even down to the details of the rooms they are meeting in and how they
differ from one another.

McKinley: Yes, but being a lawyer is not a monolithic experience. Some judges are casual; some
lawyers are too, stylistically. Some are more talented than others. Not everyone will be the same.

Mrs. O: At the reading you did today, you spoke of intentionally making the city of Philadelphia a
character in the novel. You did so beautifully. Even though I live here, I felt that I was really getting
an insider’s view of the city – and was transported to each locale with you, in the same way that I
am in books that take place in far-away locales.

McKinley: First of all, thank you for the kind words. Yes, I was very intentional in making the
city part of the ensemble. Places like Bob and Barbara’s and Cookum’s are real places, although
Cookum’s has closed down now. I wanted to include the detail of the city because this story might
be different in a different city.

Mrs. O: You acknowledge that this story has an eerily similar context to the Trayvon Martin case, do
you think that would have been a different scenario, had that tragedy happened in Philadelphia?

McKinley: I think it might. Philly is different. We have an African American Mayor and an African
American Police Chief, and obviously a large population of African American residents, so I think
the reaction would have been different. George Zimmerman wasn’t even arrested until some of his
bizarre post-shooting behavior happened. And his bail was set rather low. I don’t know that that
would have happened here because our public leadership contains so many people of color.

Mrs. O: What about Music? You use music in a very theatrical way in this novel – I could so easily
see it translated into a screenplay – but did you intend for Music to be another character?

McKinley: Music is not meant to be a character in the same way that Philadelphia is an intentional
character, but I did imagine the scene and what kind of music would be playing, because that is part
of the experience of being in Philadelphia. Most places would have a jukebox or a band, so I did
think as I was writing about what would have been playing.

Mrs. O: Yes! I was so happy to see a mention of one of my favorite artists – Mos Def – in a
description of Jon. I immediately thought – oh now I can get an idea of this person – he is probably
my age, and is thinking about music in a way that is not necessarily following trends.

McKinley: He is not a trendy guy. And the song choices were very intentional. Part of my desire
for this novel to be an ensemble piece was to include things like music in that way. Food is another
component that was meant to augment the story.

Mrs. O: I find myself very drawn to the psychology of Jon – he is so apathetic in so many ways – and
particularly to the women in his life – in his relationships with his wife and his mother, he is so stuck.

McKinley: I think of him not so much as a protagonist but as an anti-hero. So much of what he is
doing is just trying to survive. He is not a white knight swooping in to save anything. In some ways
he is just a guy trying to keep his job, trying to keep his marriage together. But he does have a
baseline competitive streak and at a certain point he gets interested in winning; in winning his cases,
in trying to ‘win’ his marriage. He is trying to do the right thing. But, he has a definitive threshold
for how much he is willing to give a shit. At a certain point the effort becomes too much of a
struggle and turns into a blockage. He loves his people, but there is a limit to his emotional reserve.
He loves, but not unconditionally and not without limits. Jon’s relationship with his mother is the
best illustration of this.

Mrs. O: Tell me about the great bartender character – Cook – he seems to be such as great father-
figure character. Was he intended to be?

McKinley: That is an interesting question and a characterization that I had not thought of before.
He certainly represents a refuge for Jon. Cy (the best friend) and Cook (the bartender) both fulfill
that role of providing a safe place for him to go amidst the madness. Look, there is a lot of judgment
coming at him from all angles. Judgment of whether he is living up to his potential or not. Men
don’t get that kind of judgment from other men. The idea is, “Okay, fine, my boy is going to cheat
on his wife, or he drinks too much, but he is still my boy.”

Mrs. O: But the relationships with women are more judgmental?

McKinley: Yes, for Jon, the women in his life don’t need to do anything. They have been accepted
by him. They are already at the standard needed for his engagement. And of course this is vast
generalizing, but women have a more project-based attitude toward men. They want men to be
more, to be what they think is better. The men are fine – saying: “That’s it, this is my guy, whatever
happens.” Conversely, men become apathetic or compartmentalize because they have already
made the decision to commit to the relationship and they are in it for whatever it is.

For instance, there is a scene in the book where Jon is looking around his marital house and he is
seeing that the décor is fundamentally his wife’s. He accepts it and is comfortable within it, but it
would be different if it was just him. It is clearly her house. But he is okay with that. He knows he
will stay and try to make it work. She is going to have to be the one that leaves him – even though
it is obvious that they have evolved away from one another. He would stay forever. Just like he
would never leave his job until he reaches a true breaking point.

Mrs. O: I guess women have more rules than men do about their close relationships – a code of
conduct maybe? But I feel like there is such a strong male tone to the book. Even the narrator has a
male tone and an urban tone.

McKinley: Interesting, I meant for the narrator to be omniscient, but you might be right. Men –
and again I am generalizing – don’t have the same rules toward their close relationships. They can
have conflict without analysis – they just accept whatever happens – with or without explanation or
resolution. They just keep going.

This is true with Jon’s marriage – he’s in it. He is at a point where he doesn’t feel like he has a
choice, so then he honors his commitment. He is not intentionally trying to push Cheryl away. He
doesn’t want to be an island but he doesn’t want to be domesticated either.

Mrs. O: I want to be sure I’m not providing any major spoilers, but there is a moment when Jon
finally breaks down. Can you tell me more about what is going on to finally bring out this emotion
from a character that has been so stoic up to this point.

McKinley: He is not a guy that feels like his life belongs to him. It’s not his house, it’s his wife’s. It’s
not his marriage, it’s on her terms. It’s not his job; his colleagues take much more ownership of the
firm. It’s not even really his case, it’s Saul’s and Jerrel’s. So when something that he really owns and
loves is finally touched by this situation, he reacts. Because he has so little stake in the rest of his
life, this becomes an even greater violation.

And I think it important to note that there is a lot of pressure coming from his community. They
know him and they know the implications of him defending this person. He had been able to remain
detached, but then all of a sudden, it’s all there in his face. He’s there in the maelstrom of crap.

Mrs. O: Right, that is a great part of the story – this all hits very close to home for him on so many
levels.

McKinley: His role provides even greater scrutiny because he is from the same community where
the pivotal action occurs. He has considerable talent and good intentions, but he is in a difficult
situation.

Mrs.O: The book really has such interesting topics for discussion. Race, gender, class, mobility are
all strong themes. I see why you have offered to attend book group discussions because there is so
much fodder for discussion!

I have to thank Eric McKinley for indulging my many questions. You can find the book through
the author’s website http://ericmckinleyfiction.wordpress.com/, the publisher’s website: http://
wragsink.com/#/ericmckinley/, and on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Blessed-Sons-Eric-McKinley/
dp/0983045445

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We at WragsThinks were curious. With so many writers out there, we can’t help but wonder how many people are like our author and editor Dennis Finocchiaro, and find that early morning writing is the easiest. So we created a poll:

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Records and bicycles

have made a comeback,

so why shouldn’t

typewriters?

By Dennis Finocchiaro

 

Imagine Bukowski hunched over a manuscript-in-progress with his bottle of wine, likely with a window view of a seedy bar across the street for inspiration. He watches the faces of patrons going in steadily and coming out less-so and types away on his typewriter.

Think of Kerouac clicking away at the keys, thinking carefully about every word and comma, working out the full sentences in his head before capturing them on paper so as to avoid typos, mistakes and having to redo a whole page.  The noise of his friends in the other room, fighting over nothing or perhaps just drinking heavily, waiting for him to go out on a short road trip.

Times sure have changed. I’ve probably gone back seven or eight times to change typos, diction or other small items in this article, but back then things were different. The sights, sounds and environment of writers were drastically different than they are today. Typing on a computer is nothing compared to the feel of a typewriter. Yes, I admit it, I am a lover of typewriters.

The cold of the keys keeps your fingers awake and alive, the clacking of the typebars smacking the ribbon, immortalizing a word that cannot be taken back (see image below for a description of typewriter parts). The sound of the platen moving to the left a character at a time until that lovable, familiar ding of the bell. There was something so definite and lasting about working on such a machine. There is no backspace, there is no delete, there is only forever.

I, for one, can’t imagine what it was like to type school essays on an old Brother Charger. The invention of whiteout must have been a godsend for those people. Think about it, one little mistake and it was either white out the spot and let it dry or rip the paper off the platen (causing a rapid clicking sound) and start over.

But these days, especially lately, the world has seen a mild resurgence of the old fashioned typewriter. A little CBS news piece substantiated that last week with a five-minute report on typewriters and their growing popularity. I, myself have been using two particular typewriters for a while now, mostly in my work on Capturing a Moment, a collection of flash fiction I type directly on vintage photographs. For a book signing I brought my trusty Brother Charger 11 and let people play with it, and they loved it. Kids asked what it was, and parents or grandparents gladly demonstrated how the old machine worked. And every one of them smiled when they heard the familiar snap of the letters appearing on the paper.

Philadelphia even recently had a type-in, much like a sit-in, except nobody was demonstrating against something; they came together with a similar love of the old machines and a large number of people sat and typed. Michael McGettigan, founder of the Philadelphia type-in, said, “Your thought goes directly onto the page without a lot of intermediaries, and it produces an artifact in a time when so much of life has become so virtual…” That explains, to a certain extent, why typewriters have started a comeback.

McGettigan also points out that typewriters help with focus. “It will not let you play a video game or go look for bargains on Ebay…so if you’re sitting at a typewriter, you’re either going to write or fall asleep.”

He goes on to discuss the fact that the MP3 hasn’t pushed away the vinyl record, something to which I can attest. I started collecting records about fifteen years ago when I realized how much music was at my fingertips when I yard saled. At the time, records went for a quarter. But these days, hit a record shop or even the Punk Rock Flea Market and it’s clear that records are not a thing of the past. And that’s what typewriters are slowly becoming today.

So why not try it? Go to a thrift shop, start yard saling, see what you think. Spool some paper, hit a few keys, get a feel for it. Who knows, you could become a part of the ever-growing revolution of the typewriter. You could be the next Kerouac.

 

Dennis Finocchiaro is the author of Capturing a Moment and editor of the upcoming Anthology Philly. Images also by Dennis Finocchiaro.

Image taken from Xavier.edu.

 

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By Lyndsaye Ruda

Every writer has means for inspiration that leads to their bestsellers. J.R.R. Tolkien was influenced by Norse Mythology. I can’t really blame him; it’s a very interesting subject. And if you read anything by Robert A. Heinlein you’ll notice a feline theme sprung from an obvious love for cats. I can’t really blame him either. On the subject of cats, let me tell you a little bit about where I get some of my inspiration.

 I am a big fan of BBC, especially a show called Big Cat Diary hosted by Jonathan Scott and Simon King. The show takes place in the Masai Mara in Kenya and features a group of lions, cheetahs and leopards. When I was first introduced to this show I didn’t know much about cheetahs and I have since learned a lot. I have fallen in love with these creatures, so much so that I have become a member of the Cheetah Conservation Fund. They are an amazing organization and if you don’t know anything about them I suggest you look into it. But that’s also why I’m here. I take the stories of cheetahs and the reality of the hardship that is their existence: the fact that their survival rate is so low they have roughly 9 cubs per litter so that the chances of even one of them surviving is better, yet many cheetah mums that live to be 9 years old may only raise 2-4 cubs in their lifetimes; the fact that lions, leopards and hyenas kill these creatures as easily as you can snap a twig; and the fact that despite being the fastest animal in the world, these creatures lose 90% of their food between being unable to catch them, or other predators stealing the kills. And you thought cheetahs were ferocious man killers didn’t you? Truth is, they’re less hearty than an ant who can be crushed beneath your foot and you still wonder how you didn’t injure it.

So my inspirations come from these types of stories. I write about fact in ways that I hope will save someone or something from pain. I am in the process of creating children’s stories about cheetahs so that they grow up learning the truth about these beautiful, helpless animals. I also write about pet grief. I have been through the trauma of losing furbabies and it’s not easy. I have been lucky enough to learn from these experiences and want to share my knowledge to help others who may be going through the same heartbreak.

But my writing collection is larger than that. The poetry that I write is easier to explain as most of them speak for themselves. I can find ways to create more impact and lead into surprise endings in short stories written through poems. It gives me an opportunity to write about things that I am unable to put into a full story.

I also write romantic fiction. I’m not talking about Harlequin kinds of stories (well, not full stories anyway *laugh*), but the kind that evoke a more sentimental attachment. Currently I am working on a novel called Language Beyond Words. This story is about an American who travels to Australia and falls in love with a man she meets down there. But his ways are mysterious (aren’t these stories always like that?) and she learns a different kind of life. When something tragic back home in America happens she has to make some hard decisions about her future. I started this story over 7 years ago and it really began as a challenge to learn a new culture and write about something a little more emotional.

I also like tragedy, so it was a good chance to work on writing something that drew the reader out. To be honest, what started the story was running into a friend that I hadn’t seen for some time because he had been in Australia for a few months. When he came back it was so good to see him and he looked so different. He instantly inspired the main character in the story as well as the experience he had just returned home from. The rest of it came from sitting down and writing. Most of my work is really that simple.

I sit down, and I write. I love the feeling of pencil, or pen, on paper. I’m not as big a fan of typing stories out from scratch, I usually have to write them out first, and transfer them later onto the computer. I’ve been writing for so long and most of the stories I write don’t start off with a plan, just a desire to write. I have more story ideas than I have written, and ideas for future creations. I’m lucky to have gotten this far, and the fact that there are people out there that actually want to read what I have to write makes me feel even more blessed.

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As we continue on in our Valentine’s Day series, I will pick up from where Den left off with what makes or breaks a love story with my take on looove scenes.

First, a brief history of my own looove scene writing: during a grad class, I was given the exhilarating assignment to write not just a love scene, but a full on sexxx scene. The writing was to be confined to roughly 300 words, most importantly, it was to be taken seriously. Furthermore, we had one week to complete it and on that day we were to read them aloud! Those British and their sense of humor, man.

After overcoming the fear of reading something as personal as a sex scene aloud to a group of relative strangers, I discovered that a well-written love scene could do wonders to a story. Now I include love scenes in all of my writing! Outing at the zoo? Love scene. Political rally? Love scene. Dinner with boss? Love scene. (I’m lying.)

But while it’s easy to write a love scene, the difficulty comes in writing a good love scene. This, on the other hand, requires a balance of subtlety (but not too subtle!) and openness (but not too open!) and please, for all of our sake, free from metaphor. (I can only read one line of “her eyes were constellations” before putting the book down.) So, after writing and reading more love scenes, I have decided to browse my book collection to give you a brief list of what I find to be the things that work and don’t work. Here we go:

First, the good.

Evelyn Waugh, Vile Bodies (1930)

Key passage:

Adam undressed very quickly and got into bed; Nina more slowly arranged her clothes on the chair and fingering the ornaments on the chimney-piece with less than her usual self-possession. At last she put out the light.

            “Do you know,” she said, trembling slightly as she got into bed, “this is the first time this has happened to me?”

            “It’s great fun,” said Adam, “I promise you.”

            […]

            “Anyway, you’ve had some fun out of it, haven’t you… or haven’t you?” [said Adam]

            “Haven’t you?”

            “My dear, I never hated anything so much in my life… still, as long as you enjoyed it that’s something.”

Why it’s so good: Manages to show the typically hormone-driven anticipation of Adam in complete juxtaposition to the pure ennui Nina is feeling in preparation for the task. Furthermore, it’s compounded by her no-holds-bar admission that the entire act was repugnant. It is real and comical and perfect.

Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar (1963)

Key passage:

There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. […] I noticed, in the routine way you notice the color of somebody’s eyes, that Doreen’s breasts had popped out of her dress and were swinging out slightly like full brown melons as she circled belly-down on Lenny’s shoulder, thrashing her legs in the air and screeching, and then they both started to laugh and slow up, and Lenny was trying to bite Doreen’s hip through her skirt when I let myself out of the door before anything more could happen […]

Why it’s so good: The pure grit of a falsified, alcohol-induced potential lovemaking (or love flailing, for that matter) through the eyes of the observer, who happens to be the only observer. Oh, can you feel the awkwardness?

Jonathan Franzen, Freedom (2010)

Key passage: (Eh, this one’s a bit more explicit. Children, cover your eyes!)

[Patty is married to Walter but finds herself helplessly in love with his best friend, Richard]

Her new plan called for her to try very hard to forget the night before and pretend it hadn’t happened.

            One thing the new plan can safely be said not to have included was leaving lunch half-eaten on the table and then finding her jeans on the floor and the crotch of her bathing suit wedged painfully to one side while he banged her into ecstasy against the innocently papered wall of Dorothy’s old living room, in full daylight and as wide awake as a human could be. […] This seemed to her, in any case, the first time in her life she’d properly had sex. A real eye-opener, as it were. She was henceforth done for, though it took some time to know this.

Why it’s so good: I’m a huge fan of some real, honest to goodness writing. Anywhere an author can say “banged her into ecstasy” instead of some evasive, wishy-washy, did-they-or-didn’t-they metaphor makes for much, much better writing in my book.

Jennifer Egan, A Visit From The Goon Squad (2010)

Key passage:

Afterward, they lay on the rug for a long time. The candles started to sputter. Sasha saw the prickly shape of the bonsai silhouetted against the window near her head. All her excitement had seeped way, leaving behind a terrible sadness, an emptiness that felt violent, as if she’d been gouged. She tottered to her feet, hoping Alex would leave soon. He still had his shirt on.

Why it’s so good: Oooh, the sting of the devastating after-ness of it all. Egan is amazing at her characterizations, and this passage is a perfect example. The reader can feel the emotion of Sasha, can be enveloped in the banality of her experience. Furthermore, ending the section on “He still had his shirt on” is, to me, the only way to end. How casual! How blatantly unromantic! How true-to-life depressing!

Now, the bad.

It should be noted that while I’ve read the following books, I have since given them away (I like to donate books that I know I will never in my lifetime read again), so I’m doing this on memory.

Ernest Hemingway, For Whom The Bell Tolls (1940)

Why it sucks: My experience with this book was that on the whole I didn’t dig it, but the love scenes were particularly bad. They followed the rules of precisely the things I don’t like: most particularly, evasiveness. JUST GET TO THE POINT. The passage that sticks out in my mind the most is this moment when Robert Jordan and the young fling, Maria, find themselves in a sleeping bag outside of the cave/compound/thing. They are freezing (because it’s snowing, and they are lying in it) so Robert Jordan gets this girl to snuggle with him (probably nakey), thought nothing is really said of what they are doing, more or less implied. This is even more frustrating because of Robert Jordan’s incessant gloating of his sexual prowess throughout most of the initial pages (initial being the first 300 pages; this is Hemingway, after all). Points for getting the girl into your sleeping bag in a snowstorm instead of the much dryer, much more practical cave, Robert Jordan, you devil.

How it can be improved: Less dancey-dance, more to the point. Just tell us what’s going on. We’re all adults here.

Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre (1847)

(I know I’ll get some shit for this, let me say that I didn’t hate the novel, and I see where the feminist principles in it lie and yes it was ahead of its time etc., etc.)

Why it sucks: The scene I recall for this purpose is directly after Mr. Rochester throws himself into a state of marriage proposal to Jane, despite having just told her of his betrothed status to a one Blache Ingram. My issue is the language used in the scene and directly after, where while we as the reader are sure that nothing actually happens between the two, Brontë uses language as a tool for seduction. I would find this more effective if the obvious thing actually had occurred. Observe the following key lines as examples. Emphasis made on the most euphemistic. They are all taken from the same scene:

“Come to me—come to me entirely now,” said he; and added, in his deepest tone, speaking in my ear as his cheek was laid on mine, “Make my happiness—I will make yours.”

And if I had loved him less I should have thought his accent and look of exultation savage; but, sitting by him, roused from the nightmare of parting— called to the paradise of union—I thought only of the bliss given me to drink in so abundant a flow. Again and again he said, “Are you happy, Jane?” And again and again I answered, “Yes.”

But what had befallen the night? The moon was not yet set, and we were all inshadow: I could scarcely see my master’s face, near as I was. And what ailed the chestnut tree? It writhed and groaned; while wind roared in the laurel walk, and came sweeping over us.

“Hasten to take off your wet things,” said he; “and before you go, good-night—good-night, my darling!”

Mr. Rochester came thrice to my door in the course of it, to ask if I was safe and tranquil: and that was comfort, that was strength for anything.

How it can be improved: Either tantalize me with words and have some sort of actual love scene, or don’t do it at all. Plus, it’s borderline metaphorical / symbolic. How you lead me on, Ms. Brontë!

Stephanie Meyer, Twilight: Breaking Dawn (2008)

Why it sucks: My frustration with this has nothing to do with Bella falling for a vampire (I encourage dating outside of one’s race!) and everything to do with Meyer’s frustrating insistence that Bella and Edward mustn’t have “relations” before they’re married, so much so that when it finally does happen, the author uses blatant agenda pushing themes at how beyond wonderful the whole thing is.

How it can be improved: Make it a bit more realistic? If the two are going to wait until marriage, fine, but at least let’s discuss the overall awkwardness and their more than likely incompatible sexual chemistry, instead of impossibly over-the-top metaphors. I realize this is a vampire story, but sex is still sex.

Every Romance Novel Ever Created

Why it sucks: This goes without saying based on what I’ve already mentioned I hate about bad love scenes. Metaphorical? Check. Symbolism? Check. Fabio-type of man dressed as a Native American set to pose as the sex symbol meant to get our loins warm? Check, check, check, and check.

How it can be improved: I offer no reasonable suggestion. People love this stuff.

If you’ve stuck with me until the end of this, I thank you. My opinions are in no way concrete facts nor should they be the way you choose to write your own love scenes. If you agree with me, however, you’re a gem.

Alisha, a.k.a. HettieJones, is a writer living in Philadelphia, PA. Look for her short story, “The Letter,” in the upcoming Anthology Philly. You can follow her @alishakathryn. All reasons as to why she was wrong in the above post can be left below in the comment section.

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The Greatest Love

Story Ever Told

(in My Opinion)

by Dennis Finocchiaro

Love stories come and go. Most anyone can say they cried reading The Notebook. And let’s face it, The Princess Bride is probably the actual greatest love story ever told, or we can at least agree to disagree. But whenever I think of true love, I think of a small segment of my favorite book of all time, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.

Of course, these days, everyone has heard of the book because it’s now a movie, or they’re just finding out the movie is based on a book as they read these words. Surprise! (This surprise is only for the misinformed, and I doubt that includes people who end up on this blog). But no, while this book is about the love between a mother and son and in no way romantic, a story within the story is the absolute purest form of love ever created.

I am writing about, of course, the fairy tale Oscar’s dad tells him, of The Sixth Borough.

In this tale, there was once a sixth borough of New York, an island that nobody remembers. Every year they had a big party, the climax being when a man famous for jumping would jump the small amount of water between NYC and this sixth borough. Once year, he finds he can’t make it across. And the next, he jumps and lands in deeper water. At first, the people think the logical: the jumped is getting old. But he insists he has not lost any of his jump (haha) and so they measure the distance only to find that the island is moving away from New York City.

And, of course, this doesn’t sound romantic at all, does it? The story continues past this celebration to two children, a boy and a girl, who are in love. The boy lives in the sixth borough and the girl across the small amount of water. They chat through cups on a string, which of course is absolutely adorable in and of itself. But as the island escapes the mainland, they have to keep adding to the line.

The string from his yo-yo.

The pull from her talking baby doll.

The list goes on. The two kids slowly destroy everything they love just so that they continue talking until, one day, they realize it’s going to end. The boy asks the girl to say “I love you” into her can and captures the words on his end, sealing the cup and placing it on a shelf so that, to this day, as the sixth borough has ended up in Antartica, “On a frozen shelf, in a closet frozen shut, is a can with a voice inside it.”

Why do I think this is the greatest love story of all time? Maybe I don’t, maybe I just absolutely adore it and couldn’t think of another story that gave me the same feeling as this one. But whenever I think of the sixth borough, I get chills. I even went to NYC once and took pictures that reminded me of the tale. Jonathan Safran Foer told a hell of a story in ELIC, but he also made up this fairy tale that made me fall in love with New York and the romantic side of the city. The purity of the love between these two children is described with the diction of a master, and hell, maybe I just have a soft spot for fairy tales.

But then again, there’s always those terrible moments in novels, and let’s face it, not everyone can write a good love story. Vonnegut, for instance, is without a doubt one of my favorite writers. But his stories tended to sway from romance, which was smart. He knew his genre and what worked with his stories; but one of his greatest unrecognized traits was that he avoided what he knew didn’t work. Brilliant. But not everyone is as intelligent as that; ask anyone who reads the Twilight books.

They are my example of romance that doesn’t work for me. And trust me, it’s not the teen angst aspect of the story, I eat that shit up when it’s well-written. But those books were just plain terrible. I know it’s become cliché to make fun of them, but the writing isn’t even any good. Many people ask me how I can love Harry Potter but hate Twilight, and that’s so simple: it’s the writing. J.K. Rowling is one hell of a writer. Her imagery creates moments in my mind out of things that are purely fiction. Like I know what a thestral is, right? But her words describe it and I imagine it. That’s what’s missing from all of the scenes, not just the love scenes, in the Twilight saga.

I can willingly admit I am a fan of a romantic novel. Nick Hornby has written a few that I love. Caprice Crane has, too. But they are artists, working words into stories that grab the reader and pull them in. Twilight just didn’t do that for me. I could never understand Bella’s love for a vampire, nor could I see the attraction. And trust me, I’ve even admittedly read books like The Notebook and A Walk to Remember (would anyone believe me if I claimed they were read for a class?), and as embarrassing as it is, I will admit that I fell in love with the characters. Jamie Sullivan from the latter was written with such a love of life and a purity that I couldn’t help but adore her.

That’s what was missing with Bella Swan and her boys. There was no real reason to care about them, to connect with them or to even want Bella to clearly be with either Jacob or Edward. Readers chose a side with no real reason. Or because they thought one actor was cuter than the other.

So there you have it; I admit, I enjoy a nice, mushy, well-written love story sometimes, but it has to have some literary merit. Is there anything wrong with that?

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